Russell Quant 02 by Flight Of Aquavit

Author:Flight Of Aquavit [Aquavit, Flight Of]
Language: deu
Format: epub
Published: 2011-03-18T12:59:11.140000+00:00

“What does that mean? You’ve met and shook hands or you’ve met and,” he leaned in and whispered feverishly, “had sex?”

I sipped my club soda. It was flat. “We have not had sex. We’ve just seen each other around.”

“But you could have sex with him if you wanted to?”

“Daniel, I don’t know…maybe…I suppose so…I don’t know.” This pubescent drag queen was actually embarrassing me.

“You are so lucky,” he said seriously. It was near impossible to read the true expression on his face underneath all the Maybelline. “I rarely have sex. Almost never with Cheryl anymore. You are a lucky man.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You have all of this,” he answered, raising his hands in a gesture that was meant to encompass the entire nightclub. “Right here at your disposal; you can take it or leave it whenever you want. You can come in here without a disguise; you can be who you really are. You, Russell, are a free man.”

He looked around and added, “These are all free people.”

Although I doubted everyone in Diva’s that night would agree with his sweeping statement, I 222 — F l i g h t o f A q u av i t understood what he meant. What he was really saying was that he was not free, he was a captive of the lifestyle he had chosen. I began to wonder if it had been the right decision to bring him there.

Had I made an insensitive blunder? Was bringing him to Diva’s like hauling a dieter into a bakery or taking an ex-smoker to a bingo parlour?

Sometimes you don’t miss what you don’t see. But once you see it, it is hard to resist. But being gay isn’t the same as being an overeater or a reformed smoker. It isn’t bad for your health (usually). It is a state of being, no matter where you are. Denying it is like denying the nose on your face. And maybe, Daniel was finally taking notice of the nose on his face.

“Daniel,” I said, “would you like to leave now?”

He looked at me in an odd way. For a moment he reminded me of the sad clown who could only laugh because that’s how the makeup was drawn on his face. “No,” he answered definitively, “I want to see this. I want to…I love it here.”

I nodded and glanced around. The bar was getting busy as more and more people crowded in before last call, wanting to be part of the swirling, intoxicating madness that is the climax of any weekend and usually happens somewhere around 2 a.m. Sunday morning. “Do you feel confident enough to walk around, Clarissa?”

“Sure,” he said, “as long as I don’t fall off these shoes!”

I took Daniel’s hand to help steady him and led him through the throng. It struck me that I would Anthony Bidulka — 223

have never thought to hold hands with Daniel Guest when he was dressed as a man, but, although the feel of our skin touching was odd, somehow as Clarissa it was okay.

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